#2142
[PM] Say, Rick!
Date: 05/09/2002
From: PharaohMobius
<<<Asking Mode>>>
[PM] What's going on? What's with all of the decorations?
[Rick] Oh, didn't I tell you, boss? We got a call earlier today from some people who want to rent the place out for a party!
[PM] Really? Wow, good work, Rick. Did you get the cash up front?
[Rick chuckles.] Of course! Who do you think you're working with?
[PM] Hmmm... [He looks at a banner hanging above the karaoke stage.] "Happy 42nd." I don't know anyone who's turning 42.
[Nick walks up.] Say Rick, I've got the karaoke machine set up to play nothing but U2-- oh, hi boss!
[PM] Hi, Nick. [To himself.] U2 music? Could that mean... NAH! Lita's not turning 42! Still... [Aloud] Say, Rick. Who did you say was renting the place tomorrow?
[Rick] Some dame named Upnorth. Annie Upnorth, I think.
[PM] Phew! For a second there I thought you rented the place out to Lita! Oh well, I've got experiments to check on. See you later!
TmPM
Vice Pres of the Mr. T Fan Club
Sergeant At Arms of the I Hate Dawn Club
Veteran of the Soup Wars
Tuba Virtuoso
Who's the party for? Find out tomorrow!
Sarcophagus!
#2143
Time to get my evil on!
Date: 05/09/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
(STF enters the crowded crowd thing with the Vampire Virus Sprayer!)
Bob: Wait a minute... I'M IN THE DAYLIGHT AGAIN!!! GAAAAAAH!!!! (Bob burns and dies)
STF: Okay... Now to spray the virus!
(sprays it into the air, but it seems to have no affect)
STF: The hell?
(Suddenly the fumes of the the spray gather overhead, and FORM A PORTAL IN WHICH A GIGANTIC BRONTOSAURUS COMES THROUGH!)
STF: (looks at audience) Hey, don't look at me... I thought it made vampires...
(Everyone runs away, and STF is the only one left on the street)
STF: Ah, a brontosaurus. That will help me with evil... I guess... HEY YOU! HEP ME ROB THE BANK!
(the creature ignores STF and walks off into the distance striping trees of all their leaves, and crushing everything in its way.)
STF: Hmmm... I'm a realy crappy villian...
#2144
[PM] Hey, it's almost time...
Date: 05/10/2002
From: PharaohMobius
<<<Party Time!>>>
[PM]...for that party! Guess I'd better go out there and greet the guests, and all that. [He walks out of his office.] Dum de dum, dum de-- WHAT THE HAYELL?!?
[Yep, you guessed it. Lita and the GROPErs are partying down with "Happy Birthday Bono!" banners everywhere! Boy, there sure are a lot of guests they've brought with them! Naturally, Lita's up on stage, karaoke-ing "Desire".]
[Lita, singing.] o/`...on fiiire, DESIYIYIYI- YER! DESIYIYIYI- YER! HEY! o/`
[PM goes up to the bar, where Rick's serving bottle after bottle of Old Kentucky Shark. Rimmi and Gramps are boozin' it up nearby.]
[PM, angrily.] Rick, I thought you said this party was being thrown by some gal named Annie Upnorth!
[Rick] That's what the lady said, boss? Who knew it was all a trick?
[Rimmi] Yeah, haven't you ever heard of a pseudonym, Pfloppy Marsupial?
[Gramps] Ssshome villillin YOU arhre! [He and Rimmi laugh at PM.]
[PM] Well, at least we got the money up front.
[Rick] Err... about that, boss.
[PM] What, didn't you get the money up front, either?
[Rick] Oh no, I got the money all right. It's just that the check didn't clear.
[PM] CHECK?!? Since when do we take checks?
[Rick] She said she was good for it, boss! Who knew--
[PM] --yeah, yeah, "it was all a trick." Pleh on you, Rick! [He turns away and sulks angrily. As he turns, he sees Sunday slam-dancing with Tork. That is, they're dancing with one another, and every once in awhile Sunday bodyslams Tork. PM laughs.]
[PM] Aw, what the heck? A party's a party, after all. Shark me, Rick!
TmPM
Vice Prez of the Mr. T Fan Club
Sergeant At Arms of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the Fern Barry Fan Club
Veteran of the Soup Wars
Tuba Virtuoso
Happy Birthday, Bono!
Sarcophagus!
#2145
Lita: OK, who's turn is it?
Date: 05/10/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
Mickey: Me! Me! Me!!!
Lita: Oh no....
Buffalo: Now wait just a minit, thar, Mickey...it's mah turn. Ah'm gonna bust out my worl famas renditian of "Un"
Lita: Oh, geez...
Mickey: Excuse me? Now look here buddy...(Falls down for seemingly no reason) Oh nice going Braindead, always getting your way wait the help of your invisible friend!
Buffalo: What? Buffalo Jr. ain't done nothin...oh yah meant Sam.
(A fight erupts between Mickey, Buffalo, and Sam)
Lita: Stop it! Bono would never approve of this! As far as I'm concerned you both suck at singing!
MTG etc.
#2146
Bono!
Date: 05/11/2002
From: Carmelita9000
````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Warning: I'm really sleepy. This reply may not make any sense to anybody who is not also really sleepy.
````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
<Rattle and Hum is playing on the jukebox. Mickey, Buffalo, and Sam are still fighting. Lita's long since given up on breaking them up. Right now she's sitting at a table, eyes narrowed, shuffling a deck of playing cards. She's playing poker with Evil Mike and Pharaoh Mobius. It's a very interesting game. Evil Mike saw Lita stacking the deck, but said nothing because he suspects PM saw him pull an Ace out of his sleeve. This is, in fact true. But PM said nothing because he has an uncomfortable feeling that Lita knows he marked the cards. Nobody want's to accuse anybody of cheating, and draw any unnecessary attention to their own technique. With all that's been going on, nobody has a clear advantage in the game, and everybody is a bit annoyed. Tork approaches the table.>
Tork: What are you guys doing?
EM: We're playing poker. Get lost.
Tork: Aw, can't I play? How come you guys get to have all the fun?
PM: Do you even know how to play poker?
Tork: How hard can it be? Come on! I wanna play!! I got money, if that's the problem. <Tork pulls out a thick wad of cash>
Lita: Tork! Where did you get that???
Tork: I was looking through a dumpster and I found this painting see--
Lita: Tork... Why were you looking through a dumpster?
Tork: I accidentally threw away my favorite--
EM: We don't care.
Tork: Oh... well... Anyway, I took the painting to somebody to have it appraised. Turns out it's an original Thomas Kinkade! And even though it was ugly as hell, it was worth a whole bunch of money... for some reason! So can I play with you guys?
PM: Have a seat!
Tork: Ok!
<Lita deals the cards, and they all play. A couple of minutes later, all Tork's new-found wealth is in the pot, and...>
Lita: Ok, Tork. What do you got?
Tork: <sounding very pleased> A pair of sevens, and a pair of threes, and a two! Can you guys BEAT THAT??
Lita: I've got five aces.
PM: five aces.
EM: five aces.
<All three of them smile at Tork, who scratches his head and looks a little confused.>
Tork: Hey... wait a minute...
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
is gonna donate all her winnings to the charity of Bono's choice!
Let's hope it's the Pleh on Thomas Kinkade Charity!!
Happy Birthday, Bono!
#2147
THE BRONTOSAURUS IS HEADED FOR
Date: 05/11/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
MSTBLANCA!!!!!!!!!!
STF: STOP!!! I'M YOUR MASTER!!! I COMMAND YOU TO STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP... please?
(The Bonto doesn't listen and continues walking... WALKING RIGHT INTO MSTBLANCA! What will happen to our heros inside?)
Tune in to the next reply to find out!
STG wuz here
#2148
Lita: Aww... STG...
Date: 05/11/2002
From: Carmelita9000
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.............................
Lita: What's wrong? Are you mad because we didn't invite you to the party?
STG: Well, it *would* have been nice if you had. I mean, I *have* been rping with you guys for a couple of weeks now.
Lita: I'm sorry, STG. I was just about to give you a call to invite you--
STG: You were not!
Lita: I was too! But then I saw you sending a brontosaurus after us--
STG: I tried to stop him! Didn't you hear me yelling, "I COMMAND YOU TO STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP"?
Lita: Ok... Yeah...
<Mickey has finally managed to sneak out of the fight with Sam and Buffalo. They continue to fight, not even noticing that he's gone... Sam and Buffalo aren't very smart.>
Mickey: Aw, this Brontosaurus doesn't want to smush us! He just want's to join the party!
<Mickey pulls out a gigantic party hat, and tries to put it on the brontosaurus's head. It's kind of hard to do, since the brontosaurus is a bit unwilling.>
Mickey: Come on, big guy! Everybody loves party hats!
Lita: <muttering> Well, *some* of us seem to love them a bit more than others... Where the hell did he even get that thing? <to STG> Now come on, buddy! You don't have to mess up Bono's Special Day! Come party with us, instead! Then we can all have fun destroying MSTBlanca after the party's over!
<Lita takes STG's arm and starts pulling STG into the party.>
STG: But... But... I don't party! I'm the bad guy and stuff!!
Lita: <Patting his hand and trying her best not to sound like she's humoring him> Of course you are!
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
#2149
TFtD Summary (Part 1)
Date: 05/12/2002
From: Carmelita9000
[STG is standing alone out on the freeway. He peers off into the distance. Through the wavy heat mirages rising from the pavement, he sees something far far away is approaching. Eventually, he sees who it is...]
STG: Abe Lincoln? On... On a *Big Wheel*??
[That's exactly who it is. Abe pulls up by STG and hands him a rather thick envelope.]
STG: Thanks, Mr. President!
[Abe pops a wheelie, and zooms away]
STG: What is this? I didn't expect any mail...
[He opens the envelope, and looks over the letter inside...]
The Letter:
Greetings, Servo The Great!
We thank you for expressing interest in our exciting Role Play known as "Tales From the Duh!" We look forward to having many exciting adventures with you in the days, months, and years to come! We do, however, ask that you take the time to educate yourself on the past history. We assure you, this is simply to ease your efforts to enter our little community. Happy studying!
Signed,
The Good People on the TFtD Staff
PS: Clearly, this whole summarizing deal is occuring outside normal rp continuity. As far as the rp is concerned, you're still at Bono's Birthday Party. :o)
-----------------------------------------------------------
And now, at long last... without further ado...
The Severely Edited History of Tales From the Duh
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/582)
Our story begins with Carmelita9000 writing an essay. (Yes, really. Exciting, eh?) She's almost done, but is having trouble writing the introduction to it. Frustrated, and looking for a diversion, she complains to her buddies how hard introductions for essays are to write. The ever helpful PharaohMobius decides to write an introduction for her, based on the opening host segments in MST. In it, Lita is on the Sattelite of Love. Servo, Crow, and Evil Mike are her servants. Rimmer shows up on the Hexfield viewscreen. Lita calls Rimmer slutty. Rimmer calls Lita fat. Evil Mike sees Rimmer and runs away with her, followed by Servo and Crow, who mutinies.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/585)
Back in real rp reality (these realities get confusing fast, let me tell ya! ;o)), Lita is furious at how Rimmi treated her in PM's essay. Rimmi is furious about being called a slut. They fight about who is the bigger bitch, and who is in the wrong until Lita realizes that PM was the one who wrote the reply, and PM is the one who should pay! Thus starts a long and arduous revenge campaign against PharaohMobius. He will learn not to call Rimmi a slut and Lita fat!
Major plot poins:
Lita and Rimmi decide to destroy MSTBlanca. Lita steals some booze when she sees Rick, and decides to take him as a hostage. Nabut is occupied by Lita6969. Next door, Mickey, with Ortega and Waldo, open up MSTGardens. Rimmer discovers a room with many blackmail tapes. She also finds a nude photo of PM and wants to make copies of it. Lita decides that Rick should make copies of the 'nekkid' picture at Kinko's to use for blackmailing purposes. Lita and Rimmer beat up Mickey. Tork sneaks into the voyeur room and steals a tape that contains footage from the Wacky Races II where Lita is nude. Lita and Rimmer find an icky disgusting anteater heart under some floorboards in PM's office. Rick shows up with the copies and tells them that the heart is a possible replacement for PM's heart, should he ever need a transplant. Everybody is grossed out. Lita notices Tork sneaking away with the nude tape, and takes it away from him. PM finally shows up, but only contributes to the destruction and convinces the girls that the picture is of Bill Clinton (Right!). Lita gets a phone call from Evil Mike and finds out that EM has strapped explosives to small animals who are headed to MSTBlanca.
Evil Mike's animals blow up MSTBlanca. (Not for long though, since the bar is made from Gumby clay, it is easily rebuilt) Everyone survives the explosion except Waldo. Lita goes home to punish EM for the distruction of all the cute animals when a portal opens in her living room, and Rimmer steps out!
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/626)
But as it turns out, it's not really Rimmer. It's Cave Rimmer! She's been travelling through dimensions, particularly a dinosaur dimension from which she gets her whole Caveperson persona, and she thinks she's found her home dimension. She's wrong. Nevertheless, Lita gives her cab fair, and sends her off to Rimmi's house.
Before long, the actual Rimmer shows up at Lita's house, lugging PM's sarcophagus! She explains her plan to use voodoo PM's mummy in the casket. Using scary voodoo techniques, Lita and Rimmer manage to bring the mummy back to life! And it's not PM at all! It turns out to be Lord Kinsey Figgybottom, who was killed by PM so he can have a mummy. Lita can never remember Figgybottoms name, and he is quite annoyed by her. Rimmer uses Lita's Care Bear as a voodoo doll, but accidently brings it to life. Lita is zapped by it.
PM is affected by it. EM kills the Care Bear.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/652)
The Care Bear cursed Lita to make her have to be nice to everybody all the time, but PM shows up. He undoes the curse. PM leaves, while LKF makes a voodoo doll of him.
Grandmapa all of sudden shows up, drunk.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/669)
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/671)
He sets LKF, Evil Mike, and the PM doll on fire. Through a complicated sequence of events, LKF's spirit ends up in a two-inch tall ceramic cow that sits on top of Lita's computer.
Rimmi recruits Jessica and Aunt Flavia (from "The Thing That Couldn't Die") to help with the revenge plan, but PharaohMobius turns them into psychotic clowns and sends them after Rimmi and her friends! Fortunately for them, Rimmi is very good with clowns, and our heroes are saved.
Lita has a great idea! Why doesn't everybody go on a daytime television talkshow, and tell the world how evil PM is! The others agree, and they go on "Let's Talk About Stuff," hosted by the Shine Your Love Chick from Angel's Revenge. What everybody failed to anticipate, however, was PM's incredible ability to sway the audience completely when he tells his side of the story. Lita, Rimmi, and co. are booed off the stage.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/717)
SYLC goes into a homicidal rage when she finds out that PM may be a drug dealer, but our heroes, being nice people, save his life. (And does he thank us? Noooooo!) Everybody wisely chooses to leave the Television studio, when Lita gets a call from Evil Mike informing her that he's about to blow it up with small animals. He keeps forgetting to not call! Doh!
At some poin Rimmi turns the clowns back into Jessica and Flavia, but I don't remember where. Just consider it done, all right?
Lita comes up with a plan for once!
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/774)
She hires the piggy jerk handyman Extraordinaire, Bob Vila, to build her something cool! PM tries to hijack her plotline, but she chews him out but good!
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/785)
The thing Bob is building turns out to be a gigantic wooden mother for PM, and boy is it scary! PM tries to escape with a "Just a Dream" reply, but Lita counters by laying a guilt trip on him that he's still reeling from to this very day! (maniacal laughter)
PM Throws a Halloween Costume Party at MSTBlanca, and everybody is invited!
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/671)
It starts off well, and everybody has a great time! But then it all goes to hell, as all PM's parties eventually must. That Sunday Bitch makes her first appearance in the rp, and does evil things to everybody!
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/805)
Things get even worse when 13 ghosts show up and break up the party! All the party guests (except for Tork, gramps, and the Cow, who are too frightened) run from the building. PM destroys the ghosts, but it's too late. The party's already over.
As everybody's running away from MSTBlanca, Mickey decides he wants some soup. This is our first indication in the rp that Mickey is actually fighting a horrible soup addiction. He endangers everybody's lives so he can go back to MSTBlanca and eat soup.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/824)
We learn that MSTBlanca is still haunted, this time by the 13 Other Ghosts. And they're even worse than just the 13 Ghosts!
Tork gets sick of the cow and throws him away! (Ok... that's not how it happened at all. But it's less confusing this way!)
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/837)
Lita, Rimmi, and the rest of the revenge team have found the Delta Knights secret hideout! The cow falls out of the sky and knocks Mickey out. Our heroes infiltrate the Secret Order of Delta Knights and gain some allies against PM.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/841)
Our heroes, along with the Delta Knights ride horses back to MSTBlanca. We discover Lita's fear of horses. On the way back, Lita and Evil Mike get lost. The remaining group makes it back safely. Nobody is thrilled to find out that Princess Theena's incredible revenge plan for PM is to spraypaint graffiti on the walls of MSTBlanca, but they go along with it anyway.
Rimmi, Mickey, grandmapa, Tork, and Cave Rimmer ditch the Delta knights. Rimmi kidnaps Nabut, they find Lita and Evil Mike, and everybody heads over to the brand new hideout, a big cool castle! It's established that PM won't be allowed to rescue Nabut for at least a couple of days. And no funny stuff!
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/862)
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/865)
PM tries some funny stuff. He is prevented. Rimmi and Lita hatch a diabolical scheme to use electric shocks to condition Nabut to say "My Peach Pit" instead of "My Liege" and spit on anybody wearing a pharaoh hat. Oh, for fun!
Lita decides that it's a lot of work for her and Rimmi to have to condition Nabut all by themselves. They've got lives outside of To-CHAA, you know!! So Lita introduces her good friend and faithful clone Carmelita42 (who you may remember from the bboard war) to the plot. She and Cave Rimmer head down to the dungeon to continue Nabut's "therapy." Evil Mike misbehaves, and he is also sent down below for a post or two for some To-CHAA of his own.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/896)
Meanwhile, PM has an affair with Carmelita6969... OR DOES HE??? The mystery may never be solved, as nobody can talk about it without somebody starting a big fistfight. [Everybody glares at Lita] It's not me!!! [Everybody continues to glare at Lita] Ok. It is me. Anyhoo, Mrs. Mobius busts in on the two of them, but finds out it's all perfectly innocent (OR IS IT??? Ok... I'll stop... grr...). In fact, 6969 couldn't be doing anything with PM because she's engaged to a guy who goes by the name of Apathetic Mike... which is, like, so incredibly out of character for 6969 it's, like, not even funny. [Lita narrows her eyes at Pharaoh Manboobs, who slinks guiltily away.] Oh yeah! I almost forgot! PM and his wife die!!! See, everybody got so pissed off that we good guys had his hot tub filled with acid. The results are icky. (We later discover that the acid is actually Mr. Pibb. So you can see why it caused trouble.) Pharaoh Mobius, or perhaps his spirit, maintains that under no circumstances whatsoever will there *ever* be a resurrection scene! Ever.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/887)
Rimmi has some observations to make about PM's little hissyfit...
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/908)
PM treats us to a thrilling resurrection scene.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/913)
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/914)
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/915)
Meanwhile, back at the castle, Lita's acting mighty strange. She's being a bitch! I mean, she's being an even bigger bitch than usual! She's surly and mean and violent and grouchy and wearing all black, and she punches everybody who comes within arms reach!
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/917)
Nobody knows what caused Lita to change, but Rimmi blames herself. There is an attempt to cure Lita, but it fails. Lita escapes the castle and begins a murderous rampage. Except that she doesn't actually murder anybody.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/925)
Inside the castle, Mickey gets a call from Evil Mike telling him that a bunch of animals are coming to blow the place up! There is no choice but to evacuate. PM rescues Nabut from the evil clutches of the good guys. How he does it is confusing so I may as well just give you the URL to the reply. But the important thing to remember from all this: PM put a hologram projector on Mickey making him look identical to Nabut. And Mickey can't turn it off!
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/928)
While all that sillyness is going on, Lita's participating in even more silliness! She finds Buffalo wandering around in the woods, uses her charming attractiveness to cause him to fall in love with her. Then she rips out his heart and stomps on it! (Not literally.) From now until the end of time, Buffalo will always call Lita "Cupcake II." You just can't stop him!
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/929)
Rimmer and the rest of the group finds Mickey. But he looks like Nabut, so they don't trust him a darn bit. They find Lita, but she's being a bitch so they don't trust her either. They tie Mickey to Lita and leave them alone together in the woods. Buffalo finds them, and decides to take Lita back home to meet his mother. Buffalo's mom is one truly frightening woman. Mickey and Lita fight a lot. As it turns out, Lita's insanity is being caused by a demon who poked her in the hiney! Grandmapa, who has been passed out in MSTBlanca since Halloween was unintentionally responsible for the demon. He dreamed about it, and waved his magic walker in his sleep, causing it to actually exist. Fearing that Lita will cause him grievous bodily harm when she finds out the truth, he swears secrecy.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/959)
Rimmi accidentally runs it over with her car, and Lita goes back to normal. She sneaks out of Buffalo's Mom's house, and there is a joyful (sort of) reunion with the rest of the group.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/947)
When Mickey also joins up with the group, there is more fighting. Mickey's pissed at Lita!! Lita's pissed at Mickey!! Will the fighting ever cease???
We find out that the reason everybody's in a car in the first place is that they need to find a new hideout. PM blew up the castle (though he framed Evil Mike) so we need a new place. Rimmi's driving everybody to Aunt Flavia's Ranch. Lita and Mickey continue to argue bitterly until they get to the ranch.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/961)
When they finally get to the ranch, everybody gets out happily, except for Mickey, who gets out angrily, and Lita, who's too scared of the horses at the ranch to get out, and Tork, who Lita's convinced of the evilness of horses. Eventually, Evil Mike gets sick of waiting for Lita to come back to their cabin, and he shows up and carries her past the horses. They leave Tork worrying in the car all night.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/963)
Lita and Mickey have a tearful and touching reconciliation. They become friends once more! Yay!
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/965)
Jessica doesn't like Evil Mike. She calls him evil, and wishes a tree would fall on him. A tree does fall on him, and puts him in a coma.
Sam finds Buffalo wandering around heartbroken, clutching Lita's goodbye letter. He takes him back to MSTBlanca. Speaking of MSTBlanca, it's just moved. It's new location is right across the bridge (which is *always* washing out) that leads to Flavia's ranch. Lita and Mickey and Rimmer try a clever plan involving a giftwrapped rabid weasel. The bridge washes out before they can get back to the ranch. Eventually they are escorted across the river by the SS Minnow.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/975)
Grandmapa puts uses his magic walker to make everybody have to sing for... like... five minutes.
When Mickey, Rimmi, and Lita get back to the ranch, all the damage from the fallen tree is fixed. Flavia has hired 6 studly workmen who don't wear shirts to make all the major repairs around the ranch. They've repaired the lodge, and head off to fix the ranch. The Shirtless Workmen never speak--they're the strong silent types. While Lita was gone, Tork, in a fit of jealousy, duct taped the still unconscious Evil Mike to the ceiling. Lita's not thrilled about that. Mickey's soup addiction worsens. Rimmi has a plan to send a health inspector to MSTBlanca.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/986)
The inspector is brutal in his review of MSTBlanca, but PM brainwashes him to think MSTBlanca is all healthful and dandy.
Mickey's soup addiction is getting out of hand. According to a brochure on the subject, Mickey has a serious problem!
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1070)
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/993)
Mickey's friends decide to have an intervention for Mickey. He vows to quit soup.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/994)
Lita's worried about Evil Mike, who is still in a coma. She decides to call for a nurse. The nurse who shows up is the Terror From the Year 5000. She wants to take Evil Mike back to her time to help improve the gene pool. Lita stops her. Terror decides to take Mickey back instead... but Lita stops her.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/996)
So finally Terror meets up with Buffalo, becomes Cupcake III, and dooms her genepool by taking him back with her.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1005)
Suddenly, TIME OUT!!! Rimmi wants to know what everybody looks like. The rpers take the time to describe their rp characters.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1009)
PM: (http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1010)
Lita: (http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1012)
Cave Rimmer: (http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1013)
Mrs. Mo, Nabut, Rick, Sam, Buffalo, Nick: (http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1015)
grandmapa: (http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1017) and (http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1018)
Mickey: (http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1019)
Tork: (http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1020)
Tork is dissapoined by Lita's and Rimmi's looks.
Lita and grampy have a party at grampy's house. None of it has to do with the rp, but gramps *does* read Lita's mind... Eeek!
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1048)
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1049)
Back in rp land, PM meets a new character, Suite, the magical musical demon! He can make people sing. He decides to hang out at MSTBlanca until his evil plan comes together.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1070)
Lita is waiting for the bridge to be repaired. She passes the time by summing up the plot at the moment, and playing with her GameBoy.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1074)
There are many discussions around this time about the merits (or lack thereof) of various video games. Mickey is wandering around lost. While he wanders, he finds Lita. They wait by the bridge together. While they wait, they meet a gypsy (not one of the ones from ISCWSLABMU-Z, and not the big purple one) who offers to sell them some stuff. Mickey's rude to her, but Lita thinks she's cool (Lita also knows better than to piss off a gypsy) and invites her back to the ranch to help with revenge on PM.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1080)
Once the bridge is repaired and they get back in the ranch, the gypsy puts a curse on MSTBlanca to make everybody inside really clumsy. Mickey sneaks in to get soup, and ends up with the whole thing dumped over his head.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1082)
PM realizes that the curse is focused on Nick. To get rid of the curse, he has to get rid of Nick. He sends Nick to Lita's house. Terrible stuff stops happening at MSTBlanca, but starts happening at Lita's.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1084)
Lita gets a call from her angry neighbor who yells at her for all the chaos at her house. Lita has to leave the ranch and go home to kick Nick's ass. She takes Evil Mike with her, and a charm that keeps the wearer safe from curses like the one Nick's under, and the 6 shirtless workmen to repair the damage Nick caused. She finds Nick messing with her computer. She gets mad, and while she's wrestling with Nick over the keyboard, whatever program he was writing (but didn't finish) blinks her, Nick, and Evil Mike out of existence.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1085)
Rimmi is pissed that PM is having such an easy time. She has the gypsy put another curse on MSTBlanca, but at a heavy cost. Tork has to give the gypsy his first born... whenever he has one. The gypsy's curse starts a time loop. The same chunk of time keeps repeating itself until Mickey is made happy. Sadly, Rimmi didn't take the time to think of all the potential problems with messing with time. Not only does the MSTBlanca scene keep repeating, but Nick keeps going to Lita's house, and Lita, Nick, and Evil Mike keep disappearing. The gypsy sneaks out before anybody has a chance to demand a refund.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1088)
Fortunately though, Mickey is very easily pleased, and the curse is broken. Mickey is turned back to his usual form for like, 5 seconds, until Lita poins out that it screws up continuity (Sorry Mickey).
Evil Mike, Lita, and Nick are lost in time and space again. But they come back to Earth...
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1105)
And land right outside MSTBlanca. They land on their heads, and lose their memories. They make up new identities for themselves. Evil Mike names Lita "Barbie." Lita names Evil Mike "Ken." They decide they are married. They name Nick "Castleton" and decide he must be their butler. When they enter MSTBlanca, PM tells them they work for him, and they trust him completely.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1106)
Mickey shows up at MSTBlanca, and decides it would be fun to confuse everybody. He succeeds, and not just with the amnesiacs!
Tork, in an effort to produce that firstborn that he owes the gypsy, orders a mail-order bride. The bride turns out to be Nastia, from Jack Frost! She's very young and Tork wants to back out of the contract.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1111)
Nastia is hurt by the rejection, and vows revenge through song. Looks like Suite the music demon is still hanging around.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1117)
Mickey returns to the ranch and enlists Carmelita42's help. He explains to her about the whole amnesia thing, and asks her to take Carmeltia9000's place for a while. It's not clear how keeping the others from knowing Lita's plight is going to help her at all, but 42 figures he's got to have a good reason, and agrees to try.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1119)
Unfortunately, she's not all that good with the Lita impression. She's found out almost immediately. Mickey tries to explain why he tried to get 42 to impersonate Lita, but has a lot of trouble doing so on account of Tork keeps interrupting with his screams of horror as he's chased by a pitchfork wielding Lucinda. No, I don't know why she's there either. A woman her age doesn't have to explain herself.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1124)
Cave Rimmer takes care of Lucinda. Mickey finally explains what he was up to... sort of.
At MSTBlanca, Lita-- er... no... Barbie questions PM's tendency to serve alcohol to minors (specifically, grandmapa, who is still hanging out at MSTBlanca). He makes several good arguments why it's ok.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1127)
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1128)
And poor grampy can't tell Barbie and Ken and Castleton that they're not really Barbie and Ken and Castleton because PM will tell them about the demon pig gramps created that made Lita crazy!
Rimmi calls the Angels from Angels' Revenge and tells them that PM is running an opium den. Meanwhile, Barbie, Ken, and Castleton are diligently passing out decorating MSTBlanca with Anti-Drug pamphlets, and posters, and stuff. The Angels are generally abusive to everybody, but don't find evidence of drugs. They do find Mickey creeping and crawling around out side a' sneaking and a' snooping. They decide a soup addiction is good enough for them, and drag Mickey away for a little public humiliation. This post introduces us to the Teenaged Girl Who is Really Too Young For This Line of Work, and Should Really Have Her Case Looked Into By Child Protective Services, or TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS for short.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1145)
TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS rescues Mickey from the horrible fate the Angels have for him because she's got a big crush on him.
Barbie has a run-in with Rimmer and Cave Rimmer. Cave Rimmer thumps her on the head and Barbie becomes Lita again, but she gets a little overzealous with the thumping and knocks Lita out. Before anybody can do anything about it, Ken shows up and takes Lita back into MSTBlanca.
Once Lita comes to, PM tries to explain to her that she hasn't really reagained her memory. Actually, she just now got amnesia, and she's just making up this whole past for herself! Make sense? No? Well, maybe the original reply will help explain.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1154)
Lita doesn?t believe PM for a second, but decides to go along with it so she can stick around and maybe mess up his bar. PM doesn't believe Lita believes him for a second, but decides to go along with it so he can keep her around and maybe mess up her head. Oh, for fun!
Lita becomes maybe the worst employee ever, even neglecting to scrape the gum off from under tables like PM told her to. PM has fun with her age.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1155)
Lita accidentally dopples Nabut into an orangutan. At least, she says it's an accident. I believe her! While PM runs off to find his body, Lita helps Rick out with a corn on his foot, thereby taking on her new identity for the very first time, Dr. Lita!!!
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1167)
It takes PM no time to put an end to Lita's fun. What a jerk!
Meanwhile, Lord Kinsey Figgybottom has been arrested by Sheriff Alan Hale! Lita42 and Mickey decide to rescue him. While on their mission, they meet Bono *and* Abe Lincoln on a Big-Wheel!
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1168)
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1169)
They also meet TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS, who is jealous of 42 because she thinks she's trying to steal Mickey. TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS is heavily armed, so Mickey and 42 decide to let her help them rescue Lita and Ken.
Rimmer and Cave Rimmer meet Deathstalker, and the results are ooooooh so icky.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1172)
Lita finally decides to take some action. She and Ken break into PM's office looking for evidence against him. He finds none, which enrages Lita. What enrages her even more is Ken's insistence that she's insane. She gets very violent with him.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1173)
Mickey, Lita42, and TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS peek in the window to PM's office just in time to see Lita beating up Ken. They decide to run in and get them out of there. All of Lita's punches cause Evil Mike to regain his memory. They start kissing, which is right when everybody else bursts into the room. There is a really well done escape scene. Once Lita, Evil Mike, Mickey, 42, and TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS are all safely outside, Lita calls Spidey. This is Spidey's first appearance in this rp!
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1178)
Lita, Mickey, Evil Mike, Carmelita42, grandmapa, and TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS decide it's a good time to leave MSTBlanca. But Lita won't let Mickey and TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS walk, presumably because she's grossed out by their relationship. Lita drives Spidey back to the ranch, and lets him chase horses around. She meets Deathstalker, and it's yucky. Nastinka returns to the ranch with Tork. She's determined to marry him, and has turned him into a bear.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1181)
Mickey tries to end the creepiness with TGWIRTYFTLOWASRHHCLIBCPS by having her start dating Ortega instead. That's actually waaaaaay creepier, but at least we don't have to look at it.
Remember when Lita accidentally doppled Nabut into an orangutan back at MSTBlanca? And PM couldn't find him? Well, 42 finds him. And since she doesn't know it's really Nabut, she decides to make him her new pet. She names him Flopsey, but he doesn't like that name.
Rimmi is kidnapped by Suite, the music demon's, henchguys! Oh no! A cool musical sequence follows.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1190)
Suite wants to make Rimmi his bride, because she summoned him. But wait! She didn't really summon him! Tork summoned him! Suite doesn't want to marry Tork. He also wants to make everybody sing their deepest darkest secrets. But nobody has any... except for gramps. He sings all about the demon pig he dreamed up to make Lita evil. Lita stops him from dancing himself to death just in time, and forgives him for what he did. But Suite isn't done. He also wants revenge on Lita for not cleaning up the gum under the tables like she was supposed to while working at MSTBlanca, and messing up his suit. (Oopsie!) PM rescues Lita and everybody else by summoning Yatta, who banish Suite with their scary, scary dancing. Also, while everybody is distracted, PM puts Nabut back into his own body.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1191)
Rimmi sets a bone-eater after PM.
While Everybody who is not affiliated with PM attempt to walk back to the ranch, Evil Mike escapes. Lita sends 42 and Mickey out to find him. The also discovers that MSTBlanca moved during the musical. They aren't anywhere near the ranch. Lita calls Spidey. Everybody gets in, then Lita uses Spidey to find Evil Mike and... Pick him up. But 42 and Mickey are still out somewhere looking for him. Lita's annoyed with Mickey lately (I don't know why, Mickey's the one who said she was) so she gives 42 a call and tells her to have fun annoying Mickey and spending his money.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1194)
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1195)
There's a failed attempt at a pet store to buy 42 a new pet to replace "Flopsey." 42 has Mickey take her to the Mall to buy some expensive clothes. Mickey leaves just as it's time to pay the bill. 42's gun falls out of her pocket while she's a the check out counter. Turns out it's just a squirt gun, but the store people decide to throw the book at her for attempted robbery anyway. 42 is really pissed off that Mickey framed her.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1212)
Something big falls in front of Spidey. It's one of PM's robots, and it's gone craaaaaaazy!!!11 It tries to smoosh Spidey.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1209)
Sam's the one who screwed up the robot, by putting an anteater's brain in the robot's body. Naturally, that makes the robot evil like all anteaters. PM vows to find it and stop it's rampage. He's too late to stop it from destroying Spidey, though. How tragic! Mickey finds Spidey's wreckage, and is almost killed by the robot. Lita saves Mickey's life, then asks him what happened to 42, since she's not there. Mickey tells her. Of course, he lies a whole lot. Enjoy Mickey's flashback sequence!
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1216)
The robot finds everybody hiding, on account of all the talking, and tries to kill them. Mickey gets hit, and goes comatose. But his spirit departs from his body, and uses his unearthly power to annoy Evil Mike. Lita's sad that her spider car died. An unusual amount of synonyms are used, on account of Lita found her Thesaurus.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1218)
Mickey's clearly in poor health. Lita becomes Dr. Lita, and pronounces that there's no hope except to put Mickey to sleep. Mickey's spirit doesn't like that idea. 42 is still in prison. PM stops the crazy robot, revives Spidey, puts Mickey back into his body, and removes the Nabut hologram so that Mickey can *finally* look like Mickey again. Buffalo returns from the future. He falls on his face and his butt sticks out of his pants. This full moon causes PM to become Werepharaoh. He leaves, having strange convulsions.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1231)
Lita sends Mickey away to go save 42 from prison. Lita tells the rest of the group that she's aranged for a new hideout. It's Diabolik's lair, and it's definitely *not* in Europe! She doesn't want to wait for Mickey to get back to tell him where she is, so she leaves him a note. Lita also kidnapps Buffalo. PM's gonna have to pay a heafty ransom if he wants him back!
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1234)
-----------------------------------------------
This concludes Part 1 of the TFtD Summary. Stay tuned for Part 2.
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
#2150
TFtD Summary (Part 2)
Date: 05/12/2002
From: Carmelita9000
.........................................................
Ok. First off, I know these replies are really long. But I still think it would be worthwhile to read them. It's still much faster to catch up on the main plot poins this way than to read the whole thing! Ok.
------------------------------------------------------
Lita, Evil Mike, Tork, Gramps, Rimmi, and Buffalo get to Diabolik's lair. Buffalo is tied to a chair. Lita and Rimmi almost get in a fight, but then Evil Mike stops them from fighting by saying something stupid and getting himself in trouble instead. That Sunday Bitch comes to the lair, and puts itching powder in Tork's robot costume. Lita and gramps, who have been drinking, think Tork's dancing, and they turn up the music and start dancing with him.
Sheriff Alan Hale arrests PM for being a werepharaoh.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1242)
Mickey and Carmelita42 are on their way to Diabolik's lair. Mickey tries to get 42 arrested again. They accidentally run over Lord Kinsey Figgybottom the Cow, and he's back in the rp (much to his dismay)!
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1246)
Eventually, they get to Diabolik's lair.
PM's a werepharaoh! He's running around town, doing things! But he meets a wurwolf hunter who tells him that a butt crack does not count as the kind of full moon that turns people wolfy. Werepharaoh, slightly embarrassed, turns back to regular old PM.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1253)
Rimmi's bone eater finally catches up with PM. But it gets confused, thinks the wurwolf hunter is PM, and eats her. It's gruesome, but PM escapes unscathed.
Gramps has a fit, and starts pretending to be Carmelita5738 again. (That's the clone gramps killed to steal her identity, remember?) The resulting reply is strange:
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1264)
Sunday ties Tork to some railroad tracks just as a train is coming. She also styles his bear fur. You know, 'cause he's still a bear. Rimmer and Lita send Evil Mike to save Tork from the train. He does so by putting a penny on the tracks causing the train to derail. He leaves without untying Tork.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1276)
The insane cop from Last Clear Chance shows up and lectures Tork about train safety.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1280)
Tork escapes. How? Nobody knows because he never said. Lita's mad at Tork, but tells him he can make it up to her by stealing PM's hat. And he has to actually steal it, it doesn't count if PM just gives it to Tork because he's a nice guy. Tork puts off leaving to go on the quest for like a bajillion replies. There's also lots of apologies all around. Lita relives the day PM pissed her and Rimmi off.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1307)
It's Rimmi's birthday. Mickey celebrates by locking Lita in the bathroom and letting Evil Mike do his thing.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1315)
Lita murders Mickey.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1319)
Ok. Not really. But she came really close! Mickey survived by the skin of his teeth!
Tork finally steals the hat. I think. I don't know, the reply is pretty confusing.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1332)
The Director of the rp doesn't like that reply. He has Tork and PM redo it with more cursing and violence. He also takes the hat again, but it doesn't pass the criteria Lita gives. Not that Lita's mean enough to poin that out...
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1336)
The Director says some mean stuff about PM's wife. PM turns the director into an anteater.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1339)
Lita & CO use PM's hat to build a snowman. The snowman comes to life and causes trouble. It has to be destroyed.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1340)
PM, not at all perturbed about losing his hat, since he has a closet full of 'em, throws a Christmas party at his Imperial Palace. He doesn't forget to invite GROPE (The Get-Revenge-On-PM-Elite Squad). Special note, this is the first time GROPE is called GROPE in the rp!
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1341)
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1342)
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1343)
Rimmer unleashes a diabolical, though confusing, plan involving a chip in Nabut's brain that makes him do mean things to PM.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1344)
Lita and Evil Mike get to the party, and then realize that they accidentally left the rest of GROPE at a yucky gas station. Nabut beats up on PM.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1346)
Tork turns back to a guy in a robot costume, instead of a bear.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1349)
The rest of GROPE gets to the party, and it can begin. Lita and Rimmer are talking about Vampire Based Programming, and plotlines they can ste-- er... borrow. Lita talks about giving Rimmer a bratty and abusive kid sister that Rimmi never knew she had. Thus, Sunshine is spawned. Creating her is probably the biggest mistake anybody in this rp has made. Rimmi doesn't want Sunshine to be her kid sister, so Sunshine decides she's Mrs. Mo's little sister instead.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1354)
Rimmi introduces her new lesbian friend, Cara to the rp. Cara has to be Rimmi's lesbian friend, because Rimmi lost the rock-paper-scissors tournament. Rimmi warns Cara that she can play her lesbian lover, but not to try anything gay.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1357)
The party continues...
Spidey eats Sunshine, and Lita thinks she killed her. Lita's drunk. She's also really worried, because she thinks Mrs. Mo is going to want revenge for killing her little sister.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1385)
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1387)
Lita grabs Evil Mike and runs away from Mrs. Mo. They promptly get lost. Sunshine is alive. Lita and Evil Mike are unaware of this and hiding.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1393)
A snowball fight breaks out and continues through much of what follows.
Lita and Evil Mike stop hiding, and try to find the party again. Instead, they find a bunch of PM's shocktroopers guarding a gold Pumaman mask. They chase Lita and Evil Mike around.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1398)
Eventually, Lita and Evil Mike manage to get back to the party--by jumping out a window.
Tork stands under some mistletoe.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1419)
It takes a day for people to want to reply, but when they do, a few go at the same time:
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1420)
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1421)
Lita even has a reply and she knows she shouldn't post it, but does, against her better judgement:
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1428)
This of course, results in all kinds of problems with the Time/Space continuum.
Everybody begs Mickey to fix the problem by choosing which reply to keep, since he's the Time/Space expert. He refuses for no apparent reason. Lita gets sick of this, and tries to fix it, herself, creating lots of side effects that are completely forgotten about two replies later (not that I'm annoyed...). Part of her fix involves killing Sunshine again.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1452)
PM tries to fix it too. Apparently Lita's fix wasn't good enough for him. (:oÞ) His fix involves blasting a bunch of people into a Chrono Trigger game. Oh, yeah! That solves everything PM! Way to go!
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1458)
---------------------------------------------------------
The Chrono Trigger leg of the rp shall be summarized by our special guest summary guy, Tork_110. Thank you, Tork.
---------------------------------------------------------
[Tork takes the floor]
1458 Duh Trigger Arc
PM is using his latest gizmo to sort out the irregualities in the time-space continuum. SirSlush2 appears and so does a time gate. Lita (Marle), Rimmi (Lucca), Gramps, Mickey (Frog), Tork (Robo), and PM (Crono) are sucked in and end up in the video game Chrono Trigger. Mickey, escapes but returns after being trapped in Frogger. grandmapa is the wise man who hangs out at the end of time. He joins the party.
EM, Lita42, and CaveRimmer are left in the real world. EM meets Rickey, Mickey's evil brother. Rickey's sister Vicki is the best looking woman in the rp.
The party goes to Mystic Mountain (35,000,000 BC) and are attacked by Reptikes. They are rescued by CaveRimmer, who has a nasty surprise. Sunshine is also in the game as Schala. Lita kills her with Ice 2. Mrs. Mobius (Magus) is very upset. Before Mrs. Mobius can avenge Sunshine, Tork spazzes and talks about some bad video game experiences he's had. After the group quiets him, Mrs. Mobius kills Lita with her dark matter spell. The party goes back to the end of time for gramps advice, even though he was already with them. Lita spirit is trapped in PM's body, and for a while PM would occasionally morph into Lita. Rimmer makes an unconvincing Litabot. (1487) The party goes to the futur and meets ... THE MAN.
The party goes to the future where they meet... THE MAN aka EM. EM forces PM to race in order to get to the Proto Dome. EM wins the first time, and is winning the second until PM morphs into Lita. Lita makes EM let the group through. EM joins the party and Lita morphs into PM.
(1496)
Rickey wakes up after 42 knocked him out (off screen, I think.) Rickey feels that he need to get rid of 42. He tries to hit on Cara, but she beats him unconscious too.
hiatus (1497-1647)
(1648)
During a break from the rp, Sunday offers cookies to Tork and Mickey. It turns out that she's very nice. However, The_Rest poisoned the cookies, causing Tork and Mickey to go back to Midieval France where they are attcked by a witch and an elf. Lita hynotizes Rimmer so she can rescue them.
(1651)
Rimmer finds herself nude in Delta Knight times, and Tork and Mickey are now being held captive by Delta Knights. Rimmi rescues them from the guy who throws pee from QotDK (in a violent way). She pinches herself and they all wake up.
(1659)
Lita is alive. The rest of the party tell her that they had to do a lot of Chrono Trigger related stuff that really had nothing to do with saving her. They have the time machine Epoch, which turns out to be Spidey. Lita wants to go to the present, where PM is arrested by Chancellor Sunday for kidnapping Lita.
Rickey ties 42 and the cow to a tree. The cow likes 42.
The Office Races
wurwolf has stolen Mickey's controversial spinny chair. Tork chases her with his not-quite-as-nice chair. Mickey chases them with the Big Misunderstood Filing Cabinet from The Projected Man. Lita chases them with a desk. gramps chases them with the THE DEADLY WATER COOLER OF DEATHLY DEATHINESS! Lita and gramps form an alliance during the race and get really drunk. Tork sends a fax to Lita and convinces her that Mickey plehed her. Lita falls asleep and there is a large crash. She wakes up and gramps mistakenly thinks they won. The race is never resolved.
Back to the present: (1687)
Mickey is painting Lita's toes.
(1687)
Mickey is painting Lita's toes. [[Note from Lita: Mickey was *supposed* to be painting my *toenails*. But he's not very good at staying in the lines, I'm afraid. :o)]] EM is giving her a manicure. Mikcey is getting dizzy from the fumes, so Tork takes over. Tork asks Lita about the afterlife. Lita tells a loooooong story about how she was denied entrance into Heaven because of her bad driving. Forntunately for her, it's not her time to die yet, so her spirit floated into PM's body. She soon got bored, however, and went to other video game dimensions. (She went to the Honeymoon Suite in Super Mario RPG and the Topolla Theater in Earthbound. EM gets jealous when he finds out that Lita toured with the Runaway Five.) Lita never explains how she could have existed in those other worlds.
Lita is retelling her story, and when she finds out that everyone has fallen asleep, she paints them all with her toenail polish.
(1694)
No one has recued PM and his three days left to live are up. As PM is about to be executed, Rimmi saves him. (She would have been there sooner, but she had to make rice crispies treats.) They escape from the dungeon, but are trapped when they are surrounded by guards.
After telling a poinless anecdote about a class mate who Lita drew pictures on, Lita wakes everyone up. She stops the guards from attacking EM and Rimmi and entire group leaves the time period.
Back in the real world, if you can call it that, Alan Hale finds Lita42 and cow. He reveals that Rickey is a killer who is stalking Mickey. He also says that Vicki is actually a Nickey. (Huh?)
(1705)
The group ends up at The Dark Ages. Lita is excited, but PM and Tork aren't.
(1712)
Lita makes the group go to the magic cities that are floating in the sky. (They meet a younger Mrs. Mo, whose vision has been screwed up.)
42 and cow are still tied up to a tree. 42 makes it clear that she wants nothing to do with Figgey, and she poins out that he's now a she (sorta). Nickey accidently reveals Rickey's true name: Mortimer.
meanwhile outside of the rp, wurwolf is making a big deal about Mickey's chair. Tork gets annoyed, and he plehs Lita in the process. Names like Dorky Tork and Dampy Grampy are introduced during another hiatus.
(1846)
Back in the real world, 42 is being tortured by cow's knock-knock jokes. Cara finally unties them, but it is heart-broken because she thinks Rimmi dumped her.
(1847)
Lita has powered up her pendant thanks to the Mammon machine, and so they visit manosgirl ( Queen Zeal). manosgirl reveals her plans to steal Lita's Bitch crown. wurwolf (Dalton) is manosgirl's henchwoman. manosgirl challenges the group to a game of Red Light/Green Light.
(1863)
Everyone loses, including National Red Light/Green Light champ Rimmi.
(1871)
Mortimer finds Diabolik's hideout, and finds that Buffalo is still being held captive there. Mortimer unties him.
(1875)
The party is being lowered into the Mammon Machine. Mickey and PM saves the group by using the Masamune - which Mickey just happened to have. manosgirl reveals that she wants Lita's bitch crown. She tries to feed the party to Bonnie Hammer (Lavos). The party lets Lavos kill LitaBot. PM takes the opportunity to explain how the party saved Lita earlier. Lita learns that the group saved her from Mrs. Mo. by replacing her with a blow up doll that was sold at the Millenial Fair. (eeew!) They escape by using Spidey. manosgirl joins the group.
(1879)
Mortimer and Buffalo are celebrating Buffalo's birthday party. Meanwhile, Cara is trying to kill herself. cow and Lita42 are trying to talk her down, when manosgirl and the WOM show up to help. (manosgirl is somehow allowed to be in both dimesions.)
Everyone except Lita and manosgirl wants to visit the caves where the banished non-magic users are being held. manosgirl decides she wants to apologize to them (at least that's what she claims.) The cave people grope the party. Rimmi starts to speak French for no reason. Everyone but Lita decides to go to the Mountain of Woe. Lita is left behind, but she chases after them because the cave dwellers make her feel uncomfortable. Lita gets lost in the caves. PM, Rimmi, Evil Mike, Tork, Cave Rimmer, manosgirl, grandmapa, and Mickey rescues Melchior (Dumbschmoe), the Guru of Life. Rimmi had a translator helmet that she was trying out.
---------------------------------------------------
That's it tonight! Hopefully Tork will come back here his own self, and give us the rest of the Duh Trigger Arc in Part 3 of the Summary! Until then.... uh... Bye!
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
#2151
Watch out! Here comes a new plot!
Date: 05/12/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
Deal with me people!!!!!
Cave Rimmer: Mmmmmmmmm......
Rimmi: Uh oh....what could she mean by that?
Cave Rimmer: BRONTO BURGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Starts chasing the brontosaurus across MSTBlanca.)
Gramps: Eek!!!!
Tork: Don't worry old timer! It's more scared of you then you are of it.
(The brontosaurus steps on Buffalo)
Buffalo: Ow.....(How he's fine after being stepped on by a bronto is beyond me. Just read the rest of the reply, okay?)
Tork: OK, maybe not.
Gramps: OK, I used to live with these things...Now we should
Nick: No you didn't.
Gramps: Bite your toungue, whippersnapper!
Nick: It's a well known fact that humans and dinosaurs did not co-exist
Gramps: I'll co-exist you!!! (Hits Nick with his walker)
(Lita and Evil Mike have been hiding under a table. They were there before this started for a reason that's best left undescribed, but now they're hiding)
Lita: Oh...I'm so scared! I don't want to die...again... and like the time before that. Am I going to die, Mikey?
Evil Mike: Eh...probably...let's make with some more lovin'.
(We rejoin Cave Rimmer on her hunt. Unfortunatly, because she hasn't seen action in a while, she's not as good as usual...she trips on a table leg. The brontosaurus closes in on her, but is distracted by a voice)
STF: Hey! Dinobreath! Yeah, I'm talking to you!
(The bronto turns around to look at STF)
STF: I am your master! You should obey me.....and....um.....stuff.
(The bronto just sighs and eats STF. Soon after though, the bronto dissapears and STF falls to the floor)
Mickey: OK, that was weird.
STF: Maybe this fiend, who was created by a magic virus, got sick and died after eating what created him.
Mickey: Hmmmmm.....I guess that'll have to work.
(Jimmy enters MSTBlanca)
Jimmy: G...g....g....g...g...gho...ghosteses!
Rimmi: Jimmy! How was your night?
(Jimmy faints)
Rimmi: Huh.
(Lita re-emerges from under the table, despite someone trying to pull her back)
Lita: YAY BONO!!!!!!!
Everybody else: ?????
Lita: Well, duh, he *is* who we threw this party for.
Everybody else: Oh yeah!
(Suddenly, one of our nation's greatest leaders peddles his way through MSTBlanca)
Abe on a Big Wheel: Mail call for Mickey T. Gardener!!!!
Mickey: Hey! Thanks, Abe!!!
(Abe rides off into the sunset to the approving cheers of all in attendance)
Lita: Well?
Mickey: Well what?
Lita: Aren't you going to open it?
Mickey: Oh right!!! (Opens it) Oh boy.....guys, um, I have to go. (Leaves, dropping the letter on the floor)
Rimmi (picks it up): Hey, who's Clorris?
Mickey T. Gardener
BBoard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
Post Narc x3
Oooooh!!!!!!!!! Mysterious!!!!!
PS: I'm going somewhere with this, trust me. Wait untill my next reply before getting in on this one please.
#2152
TFtD Summary (Part 3)
Date: 05/12/2002
From: Tork_110
(1891)
Anybody who has played the game should know that the Mountain of Woe and manosgirl's Palace comes crashing down at this poin. The party escapes, but Lita is nowhere to be found. The mountain has crashed in on Lita, but she survives and heals herself. She calls for Spidey, but she learns that wurwolf took him. Lita kicks wurwolf out. Everyone but Lita and wurwolf are visiting the survivors of the Kingdom of Zeal's destruction. wurwolf appears and takes everyone prisoner. The party awakes and finds themselves aboard the Blackhawk, wurwolf's airship. PM leads the group to the wing, and they all plummet to their doom. Lita just happens to see them fall to the ground, and she starts to resurrect them. She heals EM first, but runs out of magic poins and she suggests that Lita and EM need to bring everyone else to the End of Time. Instead, they make out, but they are interrupted by a holographic Rimmi (called RimME2.) RimME2 is evil: She gooses EM and attacks Lita. Lita revives everyone but RimME2 is still being mean. Lita gets upset and takes EM to the past (600AD.) Mickey stows away. Lita is mistaken with the missing Queen Leene.
42 and cow finally find Diabolik's cave after wandering around.
A bunch of unrelated scenes that have nothing to do with any reality are mentioned.
42 decided to go back to MSTblanca. She has a plan. Lita42 tries to convince Nabut to take over PM's criminal empire. 42 wants to rule by his side. Nabut isn't interested. He shoves 42 and the cow into a closet. The incredibly pissed 42 starts swearing.
The rest of the party back at the End of Time uses a revive potion to make Rimmi normal again. They head to the castle where Lita is and find out that Lita is married to Elvis. She invites them up to her chambers, where everyone becomes Lita's servants. Lita disappears though, because her appearance screws up history. (1913)
Lita is now a spirit that no one can see. She is upset when everyone else is more concern with getting something to eat then saving Queen Leene.
Lita42 uses the cow to break out of the closet. Sam Hill is summoned and Lita42 chases him around with a plank and knocks him out.
Lita meets the demon Skip and is offered a chance to see whta her life would have been like without the Bitch Crown. Lita agrees and she ends up in an alternative dimension where she has her own show. Evil Mike is just an actor who plays EM on her show. Bono is a guest star.
After the show is over, Lita is followed by her assistants Lita42 and Randal. She supports the Puppy for Infants charity. (Not significant, but I thought it was funny enough to include.) Tork - a huge fan of Lita - asks Lita to sign his copy of Bono's album, entitled "Lita." Despite all of Lita's wealth and fame, she feels that something is missing. Rimmi is now a second grade teacher that Lita has never met (and will never meet.)
Lita decides that she wants to go to MSTBlanca, which shocks her assistants. Lita is compelled to sit at a table and finds evidence that something is wrong. She never went to MSTBlanca, and EM has been dead for a while, but she found graffiti that proves that she and EM were there recently. PM gets Lita upset by implying that she's on drugs, so she leaves and runs into Mickey. Mickey and manosgirl have been living with wurwolf. wurwolf inherited the crown, but she couldn't handle it. wurwolf and Lita argue, and Lita takes the crown away from wurwolf. Lita instantly remember everything. Skip puts on a lame puppet show to try to convince Lita that her friends hate her bitchiness. Lita sees through this farce, and is returned to the CT dimension. She polishes her crown as she waits.
Everyone except Mickey finally goes to the Cathedral to save Queen Leene. Rimmi is attacked by the "nuns" but Mickey appears and rescues her. For some weird reason, the group decide to go to another restaurant. gramps and EM are told to check out the Cathedral. Mickey gets some soup at Longbow's.
Meanwhile, EM and gramps are kidnapped by Yakra.
Meanwhile again, back at the castle, Lita is in denial over why it seems that no one is helping her right now.
Back at Longbow's, everyone who is not eating soup is drunk.
Meanwhile within a meanwhile, EM and gramps are stuffed into a treasure chest.
Back at Longbow's again, Mickey makes PM pay the bill. PM is broke, so he has to wash dishes.
Lita is forced to listen to Elvis's singing. (Who edited this rp?)
PM uses his "clone" to get out of washing the dishes. He uses heal potions to sober up everyone else and they head back to the Cathedral. PM complains that the enemies are too easy, and Tork realizes that they must be on New Game+ mode. (1933)
(1944)
They run into an not so reasonable facsimile of EM, gramps, and Queen Leene. The three unmask themselves and attack Rimmi, who retaliates with a Megabomb. Sunday (Yakra) is easily defeated and EM, gramps, and Queen Leene are rescued. The group return to find Lita and her very polished crown.
(1951)
Everyone is crammed into Spidey. Lita and EM are making out (at least I hope that's what they're doing) and grosses everyone else. Lita or EM accidently send Spidey to the year 1999. Tork gets in trouble for suggesting that he wanted to have a kid with Lita. PM poins out to Bonnie that because the group are in New Game+ mode, Lavos has already been defeated. This cop out, errr, I mean logic is enough to defeat Lavos and finally return to MSTBlanca. Nabut reveals that he's going to tell everyone about the rom hack. Nabut quickly defeats Sam in a fist fight. Lita42 clobbers Nabut in attempt to silent him.
Next up: Mickey hijacks the plot
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